Let's Talk

With all there is to plan before the wedding day—flowers, guests, food, etc.—it might seem there is little time left over to talk about what’s really important. Depending on how long you’ve dated and how well you know each other, there may be some important topics that have never really been discussed. Here are a few you might want to consider before tying the knot.

1- Money. This is a topic that can’t be ignored. In addition to discussing financial responsibilities, joint checking accounts, a budget, and saving plans, it’s critical for couples to talk about spending habits and expectations. It’s also important to disclose to each other any debt or credit-card problems in order to avoid any devastating surprises after you’re married.

2- The In-laws. This may not be your favorite topic, but as they say, “When you marry someone, you marry their family also,” so it’s a good idea to discuss your relationship with each other’s parents before they become in-laws. Bring up issues such as frequency and duration of visits, expectations in regards to relationships with each other’s in-laws, and any other touch matters you may be concerned about.

3- Holidays. Along with discussing expectations concerning each other’s families, it’s a good idea to decide things like which family you will visit for Thanks giving and Christmas before the festivities begin. You may also want to discuss how much to spend on gifts and who to invite for special occasions, such as birthdays.

4- Household Responsibilities. This one may have never crossed your mind, but it’s a good topic to decide on before you are married and realize you are not meeting your spouse’s expectations where household chores are concerned. Are you going to fairly divide up the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, or will a different system work better? Each of you may be coming into the marriage from very different family and social backgrounds, so to avoid misunderstandings, take some time to talk this one over.

5- Baby Talk. This topic is perhaps the most important one of all to discuss. You may both want children, but discussing how many, when to have them, and how you’ll handle child-rearing is vital. Few things are more devastating than finding out you assumed your spouse thinks and feels the same way as you about starting and raising a family, and then finding out you were wrong, so take the appropriate time to plan and discuss this topic thoroughly.

These are just a few ideas. There may be other topics you or your future spouse find necessary to discuss before the big day, such as intimacy, religious practices, and more. So, forget about the stress of planning for a while, and take some time to talk. You’ll be glad you did!