Bridesmaids

Choosing your bridesmaids is just one important task on your wedding list. Having trouble narrowing down your options? Wonder exactly how to ask, who to ask, and when to ask? Here are a few tips to help you answer your bridesmaid questions.

Choose friends who understand you.

If you have been blessed with a lot of good friends and you are wondering how to narrow down your options, think about the roles you would like your bridesmaids to play, like party planner or supportive listener, and choose those who will best fit these roles. Inviting close family members to participate can be meaningful as well, but if there are too many to choose from, consider asking friends or family members with whom you're in touch regularly, who live close by, and who you've had the closest relationship with. Bridesmaids play an important role, so don't take this step too lightly.

More isn't merrier.

It is recommended that you choose six or fewer bridesmaids. While it's appropriate to invite your future sisters-in-law, inviting other in-lawas or extended-family members is up to you. Although it's tempting, don't feel obligated to "repay" friends who asked you to be in their weddings, especially if your relationship is not that close anymore. Keep in mind that the more bridesmaids you invite to participate, the greater the expense.

Invite with style.

Be sure to ask each bridesmaid individually, rather than as a group, so that if one of them is unable to attend, she can say no without feeling conspicuous. Remember that you are asking (not telling), so be prepared for someone to decline your offer if they need to. Some ideas for asking include sending a note with a special photo or token of your friendship, giving a t-shirt that says "Bridesmaid," or, if you already know your wedding colors, send and accessory (like a necklace or hairpiece) that matches. Take prospective bridesmaids that live nearby to a favorite lunch spot, and invite long-distance friends over the phone, rather than by e-mail. When it comes to bridesmaids, the more personal, the better!

Be upfront with close friends you don't invite to be bridesmaids.

It's important to always inform your friends in person that you are not inviting them to be a bridesmaid, rather than allowing them to hear it secondhand. Be polite but honest. You may wish to tell her you would like to have invited her but you just can't expand your number. Find another important way for her to participate if possible, so she doesn't feel left out or uncared for.

Say Thankyou.

Be sure to express your gratitude for your bridesmaids' time, money, and support. Acknowledge their efforts, but remember it is not necessary to flatter them with lavish gifts or over-the-top ensambles. Treat them to a festive brunch or give each a thoughtful gift when the wedding comes around.

Can I Have This Dance?

If you and your fiancé are dreaming about dazzling guests with a “first dance” at your reception, you may want to schedule some time for lessons, just to assure no one’s toes get stepped on. Some couples want lessons for parents as well, so the mother-son and the father-daughter dances can be choreographed, too. Besides the obvious traditional wedding dances, there are some other fun wedding reception dances that get everyone in attendance involved and create great memories for all who are present. Here are a few ideas to get started.

The Dollar Dance or Money Dance
A staple of wedding receptions for ages, the appropriateness of the Dollar Dance at weddings has been questioned in recent years. The original premise of the dance was to give the newlyweds a few extra bucks to spend on their honeymoon.

Although there are a number of variations of the Dollar Dance, here is a basic description:

During a predetermined song, the bride and her Maid/Matron of honor and the Groom and his Best Man take places on the dance floor. Male guests line up for an opportunity to dance one-on-one with the bride, and female guests line up for a personal dance with the groom. Each dance lasts around 30 seconds. The Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man collect the dollars from each guest.

The Dollar Dance has the advantage of giving the bride and groom a few seconds of personal time to spend with each guest. It also can be used as the first dance of the evening in place of a receiving line.

The Wish Dance
Recently, the "Wish Dance" has been suggested as a replacement for the Dollar Dance. The bride and groom take the dance floor and start dancing. Guests then cut in for a 15 - 30 second personal dance with the bride or groom without any money changing hands. A fun addition to this dance is for each guest who cuts in to dance to offer the new bride or groom a personal “wish” for their marriage.

Here are some song suggestions for the Dollar / Money Dance:

“If I Had A Million Dollars” - Barenaked Ladies

“For The Love Of Money” - The O'Jays

“Baby Mine” - Bette Midler

“Money,Money, Money” - Abba

The Snowball Dance
The Snowball Dance is a great way to get wedding guests moving to the dance floor. An up-tempo song is played as the the wedding party is called to the dance floor. The bridal party begins dancing. When the music stops, the female members of the bridal party go to the seated guests and bring back another male partner. The males of the bridal party do the same and bring back a female partner. The fun continues until every able body dancer is on the dance floor!

You can also start the Snowball Dance by calling one couple from each table to the dance floor to join the bridal party.

The Anniversary Wedding Dance
The Anniversary Dance starts with all married couples at the wedding on the dance floor. The MC then asks everyone who has been married less than 12 hours to sit down (obviously the bride & groom). Then you move on to 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc… until only one couple remains on the dance floor (the longest married couple).

The bride and groom usually give the couple a special flower bouquet. Sometimes another song is played and the two couples dance together.

Wedding Special Dance Summary
It's also a great idea to have the wedding songs of people close to the bride and groom played during the reception. This gives an opportunity to recognize these special people at the wedding.
For wedding dances, the foxtrot and waltz are still popular. Following are some music ideas that have made for magical dancing memories over the years.

Foxtrot
“You’d Be So Nice to Come Home To”
“Side by Side”
“Just One of Those Things”
“Cheek to Cheek”
“Dancing in the Dark”
“I Love Paris”

Waltz
“True Love”
“Sunrise, Sunset”
“Moon River”
“Fascination”
“Fly Me to the Moon”
“Hello, Young Lovers”

Whatever songs you choose, and whatever combination of dances you decide on, music and dancing can definitely add just the right touch of romance, intimacy and flavor to your reception, creating the perfect ending to a perfect day!

Let's Talk

With all there is to plan before the wedding day—flowers, guests, food, etc.—it might seem there is little time left over to talk about what’s really important. Depending on how long you’ve dated and how well you know each other, there may be some important topics that have never really been discussed. Here are a few you might want to consider before tying the knot.

1- Money. This is a topic that can’t be ignored. In addition to discussing financial responsibilities, joint checking accounts, a budget, and saving plans, it’s critical for couples to talk about spending habits and expectations. It’s also important to disclose to each other any debt or credit-card problems in order to avoid any devastating surprises after you’re married.

2- The In-laws. This may not be your favorite topic, but as they say, “When you marry someone, you marry their family also,” so it’s a good idea to discuss your relationship with each other’s parents before they become in-laws. Bring up issues such as frequency and duration of visits, expectations in regards to relationships with each other’s in-laws, and any other touch matters you may be concerned about.

3- Holidays. Along with discussing expectations concerning each other’s families, it’s a good idea to decide things like which family you will visit for Thanks giving and Christmas before the festivities begin. You may also want to discuss how much to spend on gifts and who to invite for special occasions, such as birthdays.

4- Household Responsibilities. This one may have never crossed your mind, but it’s a good topic to decide on before you are married and realize you are not meeting your spouse’s expectations where household chores are concerned. Are you going to fairly divide up the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, or will a different system work better? Each of you may be coming into the marriage from very different family and social backgrounds, so to avoid misunderstandings, take some time to talk this one over.

5- Baby Talk. This topic is perhaps the most important one of all to discuss. You may both want children, but discussing how many, when to have them, and how you’ll handle child-rearing is vital. Few things are more devastating than finding out you assumed your spouse thinks and feels the same way as you about starting and raising a family, and then finding out you were wrong, so take the appropriate time to plan and discuss this topic thoroughly.

These are just a few ideas. There may be other topics you or your future spouse find necessary to discuss before the big day, such as intimacy, religious practices, and more. So, forget about the stress of planning for a while, and take some time to talk. You’ll be glad you did!

Budget Ideas to Keep You From Breaking the Bank

Newlyweds have months and even years of adjustments to make once the honeymoon is over and real life begins. Setting up a budget together is one of the most important tasks to complete; it can also be one of the most difficult. Here are a few tips from women who have just gone through the transition. Hopefully you’ll find some advice that will help you as you begin this new journey with your sweetheart.

1-Track all of your expenses, using whatever computer program you are most comfortable with. It’s vital you watch where your money is spent, and then sit down together to talk through your finances and decide where you want your money to go. This clears up any confusion or misconceptions and gives you the opportunity to find out where you’re overspending and make a plan to spend less.

2-Pay down wedding debt as quickly as possible. One way to accomplish this is to review your expenses and eliminate anything non-essential. Take brown bag lunches to work instead of eating out—save dining out for special occasions, take stock of your TV, Internet and phone services and cut back if possible, and make your grocery-store dollars go farther with printable online coupons (try coupons.com). Put any extra cash toward your credit cards until they are paid off, and then put the same amount into savings until you have a three month’s salary saved for emergencies. At that time, you can reevaluate your situation and reward yourselves for a job well done.

3- Determine how you want to handle your banking and whether you want to open a joint account. Every couple has to find and agree on a system that works for them. Be sure you are both on board and feel comfortable with your system. Reevaluate after a few months to make sure things are going well, making any adjustments that may be necessary.

4-Organize all important legal and financial documents and keep them in a protected place in case of emergency.

5-Inform employers of your new status and make changes to benefit plans if necessary.

6-Reconsider you insurance needs—you may qualify for discounted rates by merging all policies with a single provider.

7- Change your name and address as necessary on important documents including your social security card, driver’s license, and credit cards.

Wedding Q's&A's

Your wedding is one of the biggest days of your life, and you want to get it right. As you've probably realized, there are literally hundreds of minute details to consider, and since you've probably never planned a wedding before, lots of questions come up. Here are some answers to a few of them.

Q: How much time do we have to send out thank-you notes for our wedding gifts?

A: You may have heard you have up to a year after your wedding to send out thank-you's, but that is not true. Proper etiquette requires you send them out within three months. To relieve some of the pressure, be sure to acknowledge immediately any gifts you receive before the wedding day; also, don't hesitate to share this responsibility with your new husband. That way, you can get them done twice as fast!

Q: I've been invited to a friend's bridal shower, but I'm unable to attend. Do I still need to send a gift, and how much should I spend?

A: Yes, you should still send a gift. In fact, although many people gift a shower gift and a wedding gift, the wedding gift is not required--the bridal shower one is. And, deciding what to spend depends on your budget. There is not set rule of thumb for the amount you spend, and no one should feel obligated to spend more than they can. A good alternative to purchasing your own gift is to go to the bride's registry. That way you can browse through the items she's picked out and choose one that's affordable.

Q: How can I get my lip gloss to shine throughout my wedding day?

A: It can definitely be a pain for a busy bride to constantly be worrying about her lips. You may be lucky enough to find a creamy lipstick that also glimmers like a gloss (Have you ever tried Bobbi Brown's creamy lip color or Cosmoholic's liquid lipsticks?). Another option is to layer lip gloss over a matching lipstick. The lipstick serves as a colored primer, making your gloss last much longer.

Q: I'm flat-chested. What can I do to still look great in my gown without making it obvious I have enhanced things?

A: It depends on the style and types of fabrics you are wearing. If your gown is made of heavy fabric and has a corset-style or form-fitting bodice, that may be enough to give you a little lift and fullness up top. Another suggestion is to have your seamstress sew thin, bra pads into the lining of your gown. That way, you can add some shape without disturbing your sleek look. The most important thing is to go with an option you feel most comfortable with so that you are not feeling self-conscious on your wedding day.

Q: I'm not good at chitchat, but I don't want to appear stuck-up or rude. How do I master small talk throughout my wedding day?

A: Try opening with questions like: "What's new with your family?" or "What's been keeping you busy lately?" These starters demand full-sentence answers, so you will mostly have to listen. Since you want to acknowledge as many people as possible, keep in mind you do not need to chat with a person for very long. Saying "Thank you for coming" is always an appropriate and simple way to approach people, especially those you don't know well. As long as you show interest and appreciation to those you mingle with, no one will judge you as being rude or stuck-up.